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Faded in movies. Plus, it was gay sex. So it all the cutesy girl-on-girl action in Bound and Mulholland Drive seem dubious and cheap. And the boy-on-boy action in Brokeback Mountain ? Just lame. Looks are exchanged, picnics are arranged, kisses are traded and then everything grinds to a halt at approximately one hour and 11 minutes into the movie, when director Kechiche and his two lead actresses deliver the type of jaw-to-the-floor sex scene that has subsequently sex the movie-sex bar to insane heights of verisimilitude and has pushed the literal definition of "simulated" to breaking point.

For here, over seven long breathy, sweaty, brightly-lit minutes, we run the unapologetic gamut of licking, sucking, squeezing, fingering, rimming, ramming, slamming, and general slithery, grindy, intercrural mayhem.

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The scene has many detractors including the actresses themselves, who famously rounded on their director: Seydoux said making it was "horrible" and she would "never" work with Kechiche again. Once the film began sweeping up during the awards season, however, they recanted and said all they were "happy" with it.

And yet, look at the scene now, within movies movie, and away from the hype, and it doesn't play too well. It's crudely lit. It's brazen, sex yet also crass. And what it says, in its many nipple shots, arse close-ups, and vaginal brasilenas culonas, is that perhaps all sex scenes, no matter how well-intended, or how groundbreaking and profound, are inherently, well, kind of sleazy. Tarzan is lying on the sand in his trademark loincloth and, oddly, a funky headband.

Undeterred by the outfit, Jane starts touching.

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Tarzan, clearly uncomfortable with the whole date-rapey vibe, leaps back into action dragging the movie through a series of strange, breast-based set-pieces that climax in a quirky "native jungle village" actual location: Sri Lanka. The film, of all, is genius. No, really. Adventure time marcelines closet it parlayed over 20 years of Russ Meyer sexploitation flicks see Faster, Pussycat!

And what an event! There was a much-hyped lawsuit from Tarzan creator Edgar Rice Burroughs' estate, orders for nudity cuts from the studio, and publicised cries of "censorship! Something happened with sex scenes around the millennium. They went from being slightly tawdry Angel Heart, titillating Risky Businessand tacky Porky'sto dramatically satisfying and, ultimately, Oscar-worthy. Nowhere is the switch more evident than in Monster's Ballwhere former B-list actress Halle Berry snagged movies Best Actress Oscar partially because of the "bravery" she displayed during the terrifying sex scene.

He's a prison guard sex meets her in a diner. She's grieving for her dead son. He takes her home. They drink whiskey.

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She starts blubbing. Thornton puts a nervous hand on her shoulder. Then, wham, she pulls down her top and starts chanting, "Make me feel good! Can you make me feel good? Naturally, he goes for it good man, Billy Bob! Thus follows five minutes of raw therapeutic ramming, artfully intercut with close-ups of hands freeing a birdie from its cage hang on!

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